Geralin

So, my new computer got here on Tuesday and I got it all set up. It’s wonderful. It’s quiet.

On top of that, I’ll be moving soon! To a new apartment where I will have (I don’t think I’ve emphasised this enough) my. own. room. Where I can shut the door. Where the TV will not bother me. Where my stbx-husband will not be yapping at me and then get pissed because I’m listening to music and trying to focus on writing or because I’m talking on Vent and raiding. Where his music will not be polluting my audial environment (the stuff he listens to sounds like rabid cats clawing sheets of metal while being tortured). Where I will have a balcony so that my smoke breaks (nasty habit, I know) take only three minutes instead of ten.

In anticipation of these things, I’m setting up all of my files so I can do some serious editing on Alayne’s Story. I’m also working on a revamp of this website and of another that I’m running. I’m also drafting plans for yet another web site and am considering retaining legal services to see if I could make some t-shirts or even print out copies of my stories and sell them for cost and shipping without getting smacked with a lawsuit if I do it for Alayne’s Story (hey, the guys at LFG got away with this).

Why am I considering these things? Well, I’d like to be able to actually contemplate quitting my job and doing something fun (or at least something that involves using more than 1% of my brain). Over the last several years, decisions have been made where I work that have the end result of me sitting on my hands a lot, copypasting things others have written, having no ability to voice feedback, no ability to actually edit things that are either flat out incorrect or could be done so much better, and pretty much being told-by-action that I will do this and like it or I will find another line of work. To be fair, my boss has been arguing for my skills, knowledge, and talent to be used better but the guys calling the shots seem to think (again, actions shouting while words whisper) that I’m either a moron, completely unskilled, not worth working with, or some combination of the above.

I’m also considering going with my original life plan and returning to the US, getting my teaching license, teaching high school students, and then doing whatever-I-want during my spare time. And, if that doesn’t work out…well, there are other places I can go and I am exploring those options.

Now, I’ve been damned loyal to the place I work at and I’ve made a lot of sacrifices of my personal time for them. However, over the last three years or so, it’s become clearer and clearer that said loyalty is not reciprocated and so I’m staying mostly for the benefits and the off-chance that something will change for the better (and because the economy sucks). However, lately I’ve spent more and more time thinking of ways to earn a living doing what I love versus earning a living by disengaging my brain at 8 am and not turning it back on until 6 pm because my employer wants my ability to do mindless copypasting versus my ability to actually give them something cool and worthwhile.

Anyhow, enough moaning. Back to work on Alayne’s Story!

…and other trite sayings of that nature.

Yeah, so I’m still working on finding time to do anything. Right now, I’m in the midst of possibly moving out of my place. My husband and I are considering whether to stay together as room-mates or whether to formally seperate. Both have their pros and cons but I think we’ll probably get a new place together as roomies and move into seperate rooms.

Oh, did I tell you? We’re getting divorced. There are two major reasons for this but only one I’m going to share here. Basically, my long-term goals involve moving back to the US. With my brother gone, I’m the only one left to look after my parents when they get old (and they’re not spring chickens right now). However, my husband’s long-term goals involve never living outside of France for longer than he absolutely must.

There’s really not much room for compromise there. So, we’ve decided to recognize that on that basis alone, our marriage is not viable and to split up. We’re still friends and all but, well, our marriage pretty much was just friends who shared space and other things.

So, I’ve been busy apartment hunting instead of working on anything creative. I’ve found a place in a nice area that’s not too far from where I work. We’re going to look at a 3-room this evening that’s also close to where I work and close to a train that my husband could take to get to his place of employment. Honestly, unless the place we look at tonight is a complete dump, we’ll probably take it and be moving in early October. Once we’re settled, we’ll have to meet with the lawyers and all about ending our marriage and what not.

My guild is still continuing apace. We’re hoping to get back settled in our regular raiding routine once everyone gets back from various end-of-summer vacations. We’re filling up on tanks but still need to find a few more healers and ranged DPS. Melee DPS is good so far, when everyone’s around, at least. We’re hoping to clear some ICC10 heroic modes, nail Anub’arak in 10 hc, and get Algalon before Cataclysm comes out.

On top of that, well, my family situation is making me want to tear my hair out. I’m not going to go into detail here but I’m starting to wonder if I’ll ever really “get out” of the place I grew up. Don’t get me wrong. My parents are great people and I love them to death. But, well…I’d rather be dissected without anethesia than move back to that state and have to live with people who’s greatest ambitions in life are to never learn anything after kindergarten. >< It's just not my cup of tea. However, my folks aren't doing so great and I may have to bite the bullet, give up a job that I love, and move back to a place that I hate in order to take care of them. Oh yeah, sure, I could hire a nurse or whatever to do that on a daily basis but the way I was raised was that parents take care of their kids early on and kids return the favor when the parents are elderly.
My brother and I had a deal that he would do that so that I could get out. He liked living there. He got on with the people over there. He fit in. I didn’t. But, he’s gone so that deal is off. I guess I shouldn’t have relied on him to do that. The little shit was always finding a way for me to have to do his share of the work on top of my own. The whole time we were growing up I did his chores and mine because I got sick of getting yelled at for his stuff not being done.

However, my niece’s mother and her girlfriend are breaking up and my niece’s mom (hereafter called “Sissy” because I’m sick of the possessive case already) has moved in with my folks. So, maybe Sissy will stick around and take care of them so I don’t have to go back there full-time. If she does that, then I could try to work out additional leave from work to go back and take care of things when they needed doing. I’ll have to talk with Sissy about this soon. It would really suck for me to sign a lease with an apartment and then have to turn right back around and leave because I need to go back to my point of origin.

All in all, there are good reasons for why I’m not doing much right now. Once I get a new place and get settled and have my own room (so that my husband isn’t constantly distracting me with the TV on or “hey, you gotta see this thing I just found on YouTube…” or chattering at me when I finally put on my headset and turn on WinAmp so I can focus and getting pissy because I get annoyed that he can’t take a hint), I should be able to crank out a lot more work that’s been piling up in my mental drawers.

And, eventually, I’ll work up the nerve to ask my parents what I need to ask them.

And now…back to work.