Being A Writer…

Being A Writer...

Is frustrating. Really, truly, properly frustrating.

 

Non-writers will never understand this. They’ll try — especially if they’re family — but they won’t know it in their bones the way that another writer would. No one chooses to become a writer. You’re doomed to be one from the minute you’re born and no matter how you try to escape it, your destiny always catches up to you.

 

Writers, also, don’t get to choose the stories they write. Oh, yeah, we do get to plot them out. We do get to outline them and refine them. We do, in some sense, get to “play God” with our stories. But we don’t choose the stories we write. They choose us. They sneak up on us and jump on us like small children on Christmas morning. One minute, we’ll be asleep in our nice, warm, comfy beds. The next, we’re woken by our stories pouncing on us, screaming for our attention. All writers have been dragged out of bed at an ungodly hour to start outlining or typing a story that has demanded their attention. We can’t ignore them anymore than parents can ignore the cries and screams of their offspring. Our stories are our children.

 

Stories also like to rebel against us. Sometimes we think that they can only turn out a certain way. We’re convinced that the characters will act in a certain manner. We believe that we know everything about them…until they stand up to us and rebel. Then we’re left completely flat-footed trying to figure out just where that came from.

 

Writers spend hours lost in thought, lost in dreams. The real world is an annoyance we tolerate. Family, work, bills, friends — these are things we put up with because we realize that if we don’t have them, we’ll starve to death in front of our computers (or notebooks or typewriters) because we’re so lost to other worlds, other times, other places. All writers have a TARDIS strapped atop their shoulders. Some live in the future. Some live in the past. Some travel to parallel dimensions. But, none of us are really “here and now.”

 

Being a writer means that you get damned tired around people. People who demand your attention. Who ask you inane and asinine questions. Most writers are introverts. We live inside our minds. We don’t get a thrill from “hanging out.” We want to be left alone to dream. When we have to interact with the world, we do it as actors. We do it as if we were strangers in a strange land. Only when you get a bunch of us together do you find us in our “native habitat.” We can go days without saying more than a dozen words to the people around us because we’re so busy living in our own worlds.

 

None of us choose this. It just happens.

 

Yet, every one of us longs to find that Someone. That other person who will understand us. Who might not be able to share the rich, internal world we’ve developed but who, at the very least, won’t be jealous of it. That Someone who will give us the freedom to live as we are, who will not make demands on our time and energy, who will not drain us with pointless small-talk and silly social conventions. We long to find that person who will complete us. Who will be our Better Half. And, in rare cases, some of us find them.

 

But even that person, that “perfect mate,” will not understand us. When we get tired. When we’re exhausted. When we weep in frustration because we want a few weeks of peace without a story jumping on us and demanding our attention, our “perfect mate” will think we can just stop being writers. That we can turn it off. That we can take a vacation from it all.

 

But we can’t. Because no one chooses to be a writer any more than they choose to be gay or straight. Male or female. Trans or cisgendered. Blonde or brunette. It’s something you’re born with. It’s not something you choose; it chooses you.

 

Being a writer is like being a parent. You’re going to have long nights. You’re going to be exhausted. You’re going to cry in frustration. You’re going to have hope and lose it. You’re going to wish you had the kind of control that outsiders think you should have. And, in the end, you’re going to wake up and know a satisfaction that others can’t even conceive of.

 

No one chooses to be a writer. It chooses you.

 

Whether you want it or not.

 

— G.K.

There Will Come Soft Rains…

There Will Come Soft Rains...

This post was written in response to hearing some stupid teenager asking about what “Armistice Day” on the calendar meant and then responding “oh. Who cares about World War I? That was like, forever ago. It’s not relevant now.”

 

There will come soft rains
And the smell of ground
And swallows circling
With their shimmering sound

 

And frogs in the pools
Singing at night
And wild plum trees
In tremulous white.

 

Robins will wear
Their feathery fire
Whistling their whims
On a low fence wire.

 

And not one will know of war
Not one will care when
At last
It is done.

 

Not one would mind
Neither bird nor tree
If mankind perished
Utterly.

 

And Spring herself
When she awoke at dawn
Would scarcely know
That we were gone.

 

— There Will Come Soft Rains, Sara Teasdale, 1920

 

I first read this poem when I read the story by Ray Bradbury “There Will Come Soft Rains.” It’s probably one of the first poems I took the trouble to memorize without it being an assignment. This poem inspired one of my earliest stories “The House of the Ancient Writ” which got published in several literary magazines in my home state back when I was in high school. It also inspired the story “A Moment Too Late” (well, it and the movie Some Kind of Wonderful. Hey, lay off. I was fifteen!) which also netted me a fair bit of attention and resulted in me going a whole week without being harassed at school, as well as being published in quite a few magazines.

 

At any rate, it’s a hauntingly beautiful poem written in the aftermath of the Great War (what we Americans call World War I).

 

Many people reading this will take a moment to think about all of the veterans of the various wars we’ve fought in today. They’ll place flags on graves. They’ll maybe take some time to give a phone call or email to any veterans in their families. Others — especially the young and thoughtless — won’t even understand the significance of Armistice Day. After all, the Great War ended almost a century ago. Surely it can’t have any bearing on life today, right?

 

Wrong. So terribly, tragically, fucking wrong.

 

The twentieth century was a time of many revolutions. It saw the blossoming of the Industrial Revolution, the Education Revolution, the Russian Revolution, Women’s Suffrage, the Sexual Revolution, the Technological (or Digital) Revolution. The Space Race. The Nuclear Age. But it was also a charnel house. It gave us the first Industrial Era war (the Great War). It gave us World War II. The Cold War. The Korean War. The Berlin War. The Berlin Airlift. Vietnam. The Doomsday Clock. The Iranian Revolution. Operation: Desert Storm. The Dissolution of the Soviet Union. The twentieth century was turbulent, filled with highs and lows. Never have we, as a species, come closer to the greatness inherent within us and never have we, as a species, come closer to annihilating ourselves, leaving nothing but dust, bones, and the skeletal remains of once-great cities to attest to our turbulent and momentary existence.

 

And the whole damned thing started with the Great War. The Great War set the tone. The Great War irrevocably and unalterably changed the balance of power on planet Earth. The Great War showed us the horrors we are capable of. It overthrew five hundred some-odd years of history and flung the oddest of oddball of nations on a trajectory for greatness.

 

So don’t ever fucking tell me that the Great War doesn’t matter. It does.

 

Europe in the early twentieth century truly was a foreign land to all of us — American or modern European. None of us born after the Great War can even begin to understand the constraints, the conceits, the concepts under which our grandparents, great grandparents and, (for some of us) great-great grandparents lived. Only those of us who have delved deeply into history can begin to wrap our minds around it. Back then, women didn’t have a voice — unless they could influence their husbands. Their “rights,” such as they were, were subsumed by the doctrine of coverture by their fathers and their husbands. Courtship consisted of men escorting their potential brides under the ever-watchful eyes of chaperones. A man who wished to woo a particular woman had first to receive the permission of her father. Yes, yes, bordellos existed. Very few men of any caste came to marriage as virgins — such visits to houses of ill-repute were considered a milestone of manhood. And men — all men who were able-bodied — were part of the army in most countries. Officers were drawn from the ranks of the upper-class and nobility. Every country thought itself better than the others. Every country knew itself, by blood and honor, to be superior. Only the United States stood apart in that regard and even she had her prejudices (and if you doubt that, look at her treatment of the Irish and of the Eastern European immigrants during this era). “For King and Country!” cried the British. “Pour la gloire de la France!” cried the Frenchmen. Europe had expended its blood and treasure building empires during the 1800s. Britain and France reigned supreme in that. Spain gave a good showing. In the 1900s, after unification, Italy and Germany made plays for rulership of the world. The United States, alone among Western nations, had found that imperialism left a bad aftertaste in the wake of the Spanish-American war and had little desire to expand itself. (Scratch an American, even today, and you’re going to find an isolationist). Alliances were formed. Vows to stand together against the Other — the ones who were ravenous and inferior — bound nation to nation against other nations. The Triple Entente. The Triple Alliance. The Central Powers. Meanwhile, across the Atlantic, the United States was busy praying that European troubles wouldn’t bleed over to their hemisphere. Americans couldn’t have cared less about what Europe did to themselves.

 

With these alliance systems, with these beliefs in superiority, with these hold-overs from the era of the Divine Right of Kings, Europe in the early 1900s was a powder-keg waiting for a spark. The assassination of the Arch-Duke Ferdinand was just that spark. The Alliance system kicked in. Every nation who had delusions towards being a major player (or, at least, allied with a major player) mobilized. The battle-lines were drawn. Young men — unmarried or married — were sent to the front lines by generals eager to win the last war and unwilling to go against their classical training and learn the tactics of modern warfare. And there, those men died. Human wave attacks saw thousands mowed down. Barbed wire saw thousands hang and bleed to death. Primitive chemical weapons, most famously mustard gas, saw thousands drop like screaming, writhing flies. And still, the generals ordered their men out of the trenches. Ordered them to hurl themselves at enemy embankments guarded by machine guns.

 

Europe’s fire died in the Great War. The sons that could have kept her greatness were mowed down at the Battle of Verdun. A costly combination of ignorant generals, of poorly-designed tactics, of the modern era meeting the older era head-on, shattered the heart of Europe. Whether French or British, Prussian or Russian, the men who could have kept Europe prominent died in the Great War. No, the United States did not “win” the war as many believe. The United States’ actions came too little, too late. The Great War ended in a stalemate though there was enough of a threat of bringing in fresh troops from the overseas power to cow Germany into signing the misbegotten Treaty of Versailles. The United States, influenced as ever by the Monroe Doctrine, withdrew back to its own borders, believing that the enlightened European nations could work things out on their own.

 

The Second World War was the inevitable child of the Great War. And we all know how that turned out, don’t we?

 

The Great War sucked the life and soul from Europe. Before the Great War, if Britain or France sneezed, the rest of the world — yes, even the United States — put on a sweater. America had been somewhat ascendant but her tendency towards isolationism, her desire not to become entangled in “European affairs” as counseled by George Washington, the father of the United States, was still strong within her people. Her reluctance towards empire — showcased by Mark Twain’s anger and his belief that America had betrayed her very soul by taking up imperialism at the end of the Spanish-American war — demonstrated her exceptionalism among nations. Think about it for a second. What other nation has had the ability to force others to bow to her? To force them to worship her as an Old Testament God? And has no desire to do it?

 

Scratch any one of us, and you’ll find an isolationist. It’s our default setting.

 

Europe, though, died in the Great War. It will be centuries before she recovers. No more do we talk about the British Empire and the British naval control of the trade routes. America stepped up to take that over. No more do we care about France and her leadership. France can’t even get her own naval flagship out of port without it losing a propeller. No more does anyone talk about German ascendance. No more does Europe define and decide the fate of the world. Because Europe committed suicide during the Great War.

 

Perhaps, in the centuries to come, Europe will recover. Europe will regain her place as the ruler of the world. Not under the current-European Union government — that’s a waste of ink, oxygen, and money. But, Europe ruled the world from the fall of Rome until the Great War. That’s over five hundred years. Perhaps, one day, she will rise again. But for now, we look back at her folly. At the Great War. At the sons she sent to the slaughterhouse. And we mourn them.

 

Those boys, those men, those young fathers — they were the victims. They were the innocent. They believed, Goddammit all, that their generals, born amongst silken sheets to the gentry, knew what they were doing. Those peasants, those farmers, those factory workers — they believed. They believed and they died for that belief. Their blood sanctified the soil of so many battle fields. Their sacrifices paved the way for that unholy and misbegotten Treaty of Versailles that led, inexorably, to the Second World War. Their blood, their lives, their souls laid the foundation for a shift in power across the Atlantic to Washington D.C.

 

Their lives brought us the end of the Pax Europa in the fires of the Second World War and the rise of the Pax Americana.

 

So don’t ever, ever, ever tell me that the Great War isn’t “relevant.”

 

The Great War and her poor murdered sons paved the foundation of the modern, digital age. Thus shall we remember them. Thus shall we honor them, poor misled boys that they were. Thus shall we humble ourselves knowing — especially for us Americans — that if they had not died…the world would be a much different place today.

 

So, as we draw closer to the eleventh hour of the eleventh day of the eleventh month of the year, let us pause. Let us reflect. Let us remember.

 

And, dear God in Heaven…let us learn.

 

— G.K. Masterson

Twilight of Lanar’ya Now Available from Rooster and Pig!

Twilight of Lanar'ya Now Available from Rooster and Pig!

The release date has come and Twilight of Lanar’ya is now available exclusively through the Rooster and Pig store. It will be a few weeks before you can find it on Amazon or other retailers. But, if you want to get a copy, you can grab it now from the R&P digital download store for only $8.99.

 

And, to add to the news, I finished the first draft of Midnight of Lanar’ya and sent it for the first round of revisions back on October 31st. So, if you’ve been waiting to hear back on that, there you go!

 

For my friends over at FanFiction.net, I will be putting up a chapter of Adrift early to celebrate this occasion.

 

Now to get back to work on A Man’s Life, my NaNoWriMo project!

 

PDF ePub Format MOBI Format

 

— G.K.

And the Award for World’s Worst Blogger Goes to…

And the Award for World's Worst Blogger Goes to...

Me! I am absolutely horrible at updating this place.

 

Though, in my defense, I have been pretty busy lately. I’ve been working on a complete redesign of Rooster and Pig’s site that is coming along nicely. I’ve also still got my day job. And, I’ve been writing. A lot. I’m about half-way through this draft of Midnight of Lanar’ya and hoping to crank out the rest before November. I will be joining in NaNoWriMo, probably with either The Penitent or the third book in the Fall of the Lanarian Empire series. Also, I’ve been doing a good bit of editing for R&P who will soon be re-releasing Twilight of Lanar’ya.

 

Other than that, though, I’ve been slacking. I really need to get a better routine down for everything. I also really need to get a job that doesn’t mess with my Circadian rhythm so much. However, the economy is still in the crapper and so that makes finding something more suitable just that much more difficult. If any one out there is looking to hire a writer/editor, drop me a line!

 

At any rate, I just wanted to wipe the dust off this place and give all three of you who read this blog a quick update on my status. Yes, Dad, unless the world comes to its end or the TARDIS shows up out back, you’ll have the second book within a few more months. Now quit asking me what’s going to happen in it! 😛

— G.K

Twilight of Lanar’ya to be Re-published

Twilight of Lanar'ya to be Re-published

It’s official. I’ve signed a contract with Rooster and Pig Publishing. They are going to re-publish Twilight of Lanar’ya!

 

In other news, I’m well on the way through Midnight of Lanar’ya. The pace is picking back up and I find myself writing all hours of the day and night. Sometimes I wish that I could just quit my day job and stay home and do nothing but write. However, there are bills to pay so I can’t do that yet. However, I can and am continuing to look for a better job. One with better hours, better benefits. One that won’t leave me so sapped at the end of the day that I feel as if a zombie is gnawing on my brains. I’ve applied at a few places and have started writing really quirky cover letters in hopes of getting some HR drone’s attention. If anyone out there knows of a place that could use a editor/marketer/web writer/web designer, feel free to leave a comment. At this point, I’m willing to consider anything as long as it pays well enough to keep me out of debt.

 

I’m also getting a good bit of attention over at FanFiction.net. It’s funny, you know. When I applied for different jobs at Blizzard in hopes of staying on with them, I constantly heard back that I needed to join FanFiction.net and improve my writing. Now that I’m over there (as G.K. Masterson, of course), I’m hearing almost nothing but compliments. I have theorycrafters trying to figure out what I’m going to do next. Most of the criticism I’ve heard has been very constructive and is helping me to craft a better story. But no one’s told me I suck. No one’s said I was a bad writer. And, to be perfectly frank (hell, I’m two sheets to the wind at the mo’), I sometimes find myself wondering just what it was that the guys at Blizzard found so objectionable. When I’d ask them for specifics, I got the run around.

 

Ah well. Not my problem anymore. I’m getting published again and my publisher loves the stuff I’ve written and the stuff I’ve pitched.

 

Right now, aside from my job, the only thing annoying me is how frequently my stories are waking me up at night. I’m on a veritable spiel. I’m working on five projects at once! Dear God in Heaven! I need a forty-eight hour day! I just don’t have enough time. There’s never enough time!

 

At any rate, I guess I’d best head off to sleep. It’s closing in on 1 am here and I have to work tomorrow. Christ…will these voices in my head let me sleep tonight? Or will I find myself sitting at my computer at 4 am writing feverishly because the stories spinning ’round my brain won’t let me sleep?

Only one way to find out, I suppose.

 

— G.K.

Life Is Getting Interesting

Life Is Getting Interesting

And I’m still the world’s worst blogger. Of all time.

 

Anyhow, I’m still looking for a better job. One that doesn’t shunt me off into a cube farm (though the guy behind and across from me is hilarious. I don’t think we’ve had an “appropriate” conversation in months. Which is awesome) and give me hours that almost guarantee I’m going to be too brain dead to write when I get home. Benefits would also be really nice. And maybe more than one week’s vacation per annum.

 

I know. I’m asking a lot. And, I’ve been applying left-right-and-center for anything I’m remotely qualified for. Supposedly the economy’s picking back up, right? Well, doesn’t look like it from my end.

 

Still, work continues apace on The Chameleon and I’ve re-re-re-re-re-re-(yougetthepoint)started working on Midnight of Lanar’ya. I’m also putting up Adrift over on FanFiction.net which keeps me fairly entertained. No, I’m not freaking out over Peter Capaldi being the 12th Doctor. I’m kind of glad they didn’t go for another young actor. Matt Smith was great — don’t get me wrong, I’d totally buy him a beer (if he’s old enough to drink it) — but I’ve been missing the Doctor being a man’s man since Eccleston left the role. Never thought I’d ever find a man with short hair attractive until I saw him.

 

*takes an ice cold shower*

 

Don’t you dare judge me.

 

Anyhow, with all the changes in the publishing industry lately, I’ve been doing good to keep abreast of them, keep writing, keep turning up for work, and not misplace my sanity. Again. For the fourth time.

 

And, that’s about it from this front. Better go do something productive. Like point and laugh at people who are saying “Capaldi’s too old to be the Doctor!” Because that’s just how I roll.

 

— G.K.

Tubthumping

Tubthumping

I get knocked down but I get up again. You’re not ever keep me down.

 

Well, I’m a horrible blogger, aren’t I? I keep saying I’m going to update this site and then I go off and get busy with other things. I’m done making promises because every time I make a promise, I promptly break it. Part of it is that I’m working on three different projects at once: The Chameleon, Midnight of Lanar’ya, and Adrift. The other part of it is that my day job is dragging me down. However, things are really looking up for me after noticing that my friend Vicktor’s publishing company is hiring. A couple of rather lengthy Skype conversations later and I’m on board over there. If everything goes well for the next month, I’ll even be getting paid to edit, help out with recruiting new authors, getting my own novels published through them, and helping out with the online marketing and community building.

 

I’ll still have my day job, of course. Until I can be certain I’ll be bringing in enough from R&P to pay the bills, I’m going to keep the job I have. But should it get to the point where I can go full-time with R&P, I’ll go in a heartbeat.

 

Well, I’m going to get back to working on my three projects. Just wanted to let everyone know what’s going on with me.

 

— G.K.

 

PS — If you don’t get the title of this post, watch this:

 



That Escalated Quickly…

That Escalated Quickly...

I said I was going to post here more often and then got busy.

But busy in a good way, I suppose. I’ve been working on Midnight of Lanar’ya and a new project I’m calling The Chameleon. I’ve also managed to get over my Doctor Who addiction (somewhat) and found more energy to write and edit. As a matter of fact, I’m editing some stories for people over at Fanfiction.net.

And I’ve been sharing my headspace with a migraine for a week now. Funny how quickly you learn you don’t really need to eat. Or move. Or do much of anything except consider performing head-surgery on yourself. I don’t know if I’m just getting older or if my pain tolerance is building up beyond all human expectations but I’ve seriously been wondering just how many blood vessels I need in my head and whether or not I could survive ripping them out. With a spoon. Because that would be less painful.

All kidding aside, things are actually looking up for me and will be perfect once I can get rid of this damned headache. Can we tell that I’m in the hyper-stage of the aura phase? It’s like being manic depressive only with more physical pain and less mood swings.

Going to go back to writing for now. At least when I’m lost in a story, I can ignore my head trying to compact my skull. And yeah, I’m seriously going to post here more. I’ll probably be putting a call out for beta-readers with strong stomachs in a few weeks.

Getting Back to Basics

Getting Back to Basics

It’s been ages since I’ve posted an update. I know, I’m horrible. I wish I could say I’d spent a lot of time working on Midnight of Lanar’ya but the truth is I haven’t. Things with my job have been hectic and most evenings, by the time I get home, I just veg out playing video games or watching movies or TV shows (Doctor Who being my current favorite).

However, over the past few weeks, Midnight of Lanar’ya has been demanding my attention again. So, I’ve started getting my notes organized (nearly a year between writing will make you need your notes) and I’m going back through Twilight of Lanar’ya to make certain everything is up-to-date on my notes. I’m hoping to get cracking on this novel again within the next few weeks.

I am also looking for a job that won’t drain me as much as the one I have does. Don’t get me wrong; I work hard and give my all to this job. It’s just that the hours and the environment are not really conducive to me having the energy I need to keep writing in the evenings. On top of that, my sleep apnea has been really acting up meaning I’m almost in a hypnotic state most of the time.

I’ve made a pact with myself to try to post an update here at least a couple of times a week. I’m also going to link to more author sites and try to get to know some other indie fantasy/sci-fi writers to see if they have any advice for balancing a full-time job and a writing schedule.

But, for now, I’m going to get cracking on my notes.

Latest Update Posted

Latest Update Posted

I’ve just posted the latest update to Alayne’s Story over on the WoW RP forum. This week’s update takes the characters through the first encounter in the Hour of Twilight dungeon.

I’ve just begun re-re-re-revising the outline to Midnight of Lanar’ya. Again. This time I was about 90% through with it and I’m going to have to do a lot of rewriting and reworking it. So, I’m a little frazzled and bummed out over that. However, I’m hoping to finish the thing soon so I can get it rolled out the door. But for now, I have to head to work.